Choice

"Vodka shots??"I turned and smiled for the first time after long 24 hours.My waist long hair never cheated him from identifying me.So even though the pub was full and the seats were all reserved with flurrying youths,he found me standing before the bar.
I don't know why I blushed like a teenager and felt embarassed.His well-toned body and freshly jelled hair had always given me cold spines along with the cologne which blocks my nose from smelling anything.He always carries his wealth with his choice.
"I just had my glass of red wine." said stretching the line bit too long.
"Oh! changed choice!"
"No...just acting my age!"
This time I was bold enough else he might had caught me.
"So....as you said where were we last night,I mean what were you speaking about?" he said with that old sparkle in his eyes.
I felt somewhat awkward of the sudden closeness that arose between us.Long since I haven't come across such feelings.Old memories were becoming as fresh as the morning dew that ditpit loves to play with.
His voice brought my senses back. I shifted my eyes from the glass to his eyes,truly none can cheat his gaze. He smiled softly making me more uneasy. My hand shifted from the table to the part of my body uncovered,trying to pull my tube dress down. He remained silent without shifting his eyes. I drank the drink in one gulp chocking my respiratory organ almost. Ah! much better I felt with the dizziness in my head.
He gave the same seductive smile,the one which I have hated during our years together.It had always made me feel jealous.The sudden call after almost 7 years that to at 3:45am was my cause of curiosity to meet him today...I just justified my ownself.
Somewhere I know Im not justifying truly still...!
"Would you mind to go for a drive now? I mean not way too long...but yeah! for an hour?" he asked with little concern.
Here with people around Im so nervous,but a drive alone is a strict "no".I can't take that risk to go alone although Im in my mid-40s and already an acomplished businesswomen as well as a single mother of a 15 years old son.I was actually thinking of my menopause when he spoke again.
This time he offered me a glass of water.Actually I needed that more than anything.
I relieved myself from all negative thoughts and said with confidence " I would have definitely loved to,if not Im going to have an important con call in an hour."
"You could have thought of a better excuse sweetheart.Even in a car,you can have a con call,you might have forgotten." ...he remarked sleathily.
I was much ashamed of my foolishness yet just to show my spontineity,I spoke "But I dont mix business with personal life so its not my genre to go for a drive with work in mind.Im extremely sorry to let you know that."
"Impressive...as usual.Thats why I had choosen you and not Akansha to be my life"...He outspoken the words with a tinge of grief.
Akansha,the girl who had never been in my good book...is not of concern today...such is life!I smiled and he smiled back.
Now,I cant waste more time as its already 3 hours by now and we are not ahead with yesterday's conversation which needs to be finished soon.
"Sneha....."first time after long 7 years plus some more months and days accounting the past 3 hours with some minutes and seconds he took my name with a long pause leaving my inside trembling about the words to be spoken.
"Sneha...I thought I would never call you as you were pretty much happy with your life.I wouldn't lie,even I moved ahead with Akansha and our two wonderful kids.Everything was fine untill Akansha left me and the kids one day...I mean she left me for another man,my half brother........." he wasn't done with his sentences entirely when I stumbled over his words in disgust "So you want me back? Its not done Mr. M K Malhotra."
"No Sneha...first let me complete.She didnt left me yesterday or months back but about 4 years ago.I managed to run my business alongside bringing up my sons all alone.Sometimes Nitu used to take care of the kids when I had to go for trip but truly I was able to prove myself as a good father to Vivan and Ayan which I regret I couldnt for Tusharr.The thing for which I called you is she died a very sad death last week.I didnt go to visit her initially at hospital but for my kids I had to...Im a father more than an ex-husband of that women.I even refused till my sons coaxed and pleaded me saying they want to see their mother.Moreover,when I went there I got to know she lived alone with her sister while my half brother were settled in Dubai...might be having another wife as Nitu thought.I could never ask Akansha,why she had left me ever may be of my ego but seeing her at that distressed condition,I couldnt help asking her ' Why?'.She refused to speak but on the day of her funeral,her sister came with an album and a 2-3 pages long letter.She silently left leaving those last piece of unsolved mystery in my hand.Ayan took the album which contains all those lovely memories of our years together.After she left,I just forgotten to store some memories in albums.May be,you are thinking why Im giving all this descriptions before coming to the actual point? She had actually answered me in that letter for which I couldnt cry till today.Sneha...she had never hated you more than me.She had left me because I had left you.Sneha wasnt an intruder in our relation but I was the thorn between two sisters.I was spoilt,I had always seen qualities and quantities in women.You two were equally different yet fascinating.I have married you because you were mature and more enriched.But when she came back from USA,she was more desirable.You were carrying Tusharr then.I had always known that secretly she had always wanted me to be in her life and also she envied you for that but she wasnt harmful.It was me who turned her wild as she was pretty young and immature then.She started loving me.I left you and she was happy with it.You never complained and without much fuss we had our divorce.Soon me and Akansha got married and I never regretted to marry her.But somewhere within she wasnt happy for what happened to you for her,with her growing age she learnt the difficulties,a single mother had to face everyday.She never called or said anything about her will to contact you because she was sure,I would never paid any heed.I wasnt guilty,she was.She was immature always and proved to be so.She came in my life where I have utilised her immaturity...she left my life without thinking any of the consequences in name of immaturity...the wholesome height of her immaturity is she married a 60 years old man.I just narrated the whole story so to say sorry from her side which she really meant,which you can make out from my condition.I would never be able to ask for forgiveness for any of you or my three children.I had the choice to be with you but I choose her then.She was destined to be with me as I thought yet she choose to prove me wrong...a probability equation played by Almighty."
 First time may be,he had been bold to show his pain without fearing to shred drops of tears as treat to those emmotions...I thought though I was equally shocked,devastated yet undisturbed because I have moved on long way before.
I thought at this moment nothing can be better than forgiving him without him seeking forgiveness,I spoke without thinking for the first time "Its okay.I dont have any hard feelings for any of you.And thanx for atleast showing some bit of respect for Tusharr,considering him your son.I dont think you have anything more to say.So I think I should leave now."
He was cold and numb.I waited for 5 more minutes.He didnt replied anything.The atmosphere was no more cordial for me.I just took my purse from the table to go when he said "Bye". I smiled consciously and came out of that old place which once used to be our everything during college days.Hours we had spend under this teracotta ceiling while few hours today had made me breatheless.
It was already dusk outside.Nothing lingered in my mind other than my little sister who proved to be a true Rajput.I smiled at my own comparison and drove back home.
P.S: I never wished to get him back again.