For past few months I just stare at my diary with a pen in my hand thinking of how to start, everytime I think of a perfect line to start with and end up writing gibberish, may be that has nothing to do with my thoughts.
Things are just choked below my throat that come up either as tears of grief that just wets my pillow or anger, a lot of anger that ends up spoiling me mostly.
I feel devastated...feeling to express devastates me.
I try not to think, not to act neither speak about it to anyone. Im so unsure about the reasons that sometimes I feel I have some psychological problems. Its just may be Im unable to deal with it.
The feeling of being unimportant in someone's life, whom I thought most important at once kills me everytime..may be the importance of that person is still same just poorly expressed.
May be I dont have a sibling but I understand the meaning of sharing. But what if my existence fades away in others presence and I just remain a mere name.
The closer she came crossing the distance, the distant she became for me. Where love becomes responsibility and responsibility is just forced duty out of no emotions attached.
I had nightmares of loosing her in person, used to get scared when she used to sing songs whose lyrics had absence or early demise of mother...Im still scared of loosing her, not in person though.
I fear her presence erased from my mind.
Life is indeed a bitch!
P.S- IS MY FEAR LEGIT??
