MAHALAYA....:)))

May be I was looking like a mother of four children but was happy to wear saree in our 'ethnic day'.I really felt nice to show off my culture and talk about it infront of all.Proud to be a bangali.
P.S. thank you mom for making me look like an bengali with our famous 'atpoure' style of wearing saree.

chuck and move on!!

a day of utter disgust....!!

Every morning starts with all those daily chores of running to and fro of me n my room-mate to get ready as fast as possible(breakfast:-7:30am-8am;bus:-8am).And again new rule...sorry "official ragging" of wearing 'formal' made me almost ransack my whole wardrobe to get a single well-ironed 'churidar' or 'kurti' to wear to college,and then I remembered its saturday and I have to wear our college dress(p.s-i look like a worn out saleswoman) for I have to conduct the 'assembly'which is from 9am.
Thanx to nitish...for him atleast I got the habit to go by first bus at 8am but bangalore traffic...man!it half kills you!!
It took me 40 minutes to reach college and I was late for the assembly!
*That bitch Prity got the chance to speak and I felt like a looser.
Anyhow then only I got a txt from pogo(my cutie-pie harshith)"hey dumbo...I'm comin to college today,will hang out and I don't want any excuse"...and i cheered up!!
It was my biotech class going on and i became restless as pogo wasn't answering any of my txt and I was getting anxious more and more about his time of arrival...may be he had forgotten that saturday is our half-day!!
I made an excuse and went to washroom to call him up.After many trials,he picked up and told that he had to take his mom to his grand-ma's place and all so he would be coming but wouldn't be able to stay long or better our hanging out plan was cancelled.
**I almost sat on the floor if not the house-keeping staffs had started screaming at me(thank god I couldn't understand what they were telling and ran to class)...class was over and I didnt got the attendance.
***I almost felt like crying.I got Nitish's text sometime in the middle of my last class"oey tu kidher hai??harshith aya kya?teri kya plan hai uske saath jaigi ya humare saath movie dekhne jaigi??"
I replied"nothing with pogo.can go with u people"
................................
................
..............
.....
Anyhow I made Nitish and Harshith to meet and Harshith made me smile again with his funny attitude though I was still very angry(but it was less because of nitish's movie plan...something is better than nothing anyhow)
In bus I didnt got a seat but still pleased....
When our bus reached BTM...I got a txt from nitish who was sitting right infront of me"yaar main devdas baan gaya.That gul is committed too"...
I coaxed him a lot,tried to make him alright but he was almost crying.
Moral:our movie plan was cancelled and he switched off his cell
And I was utterly disgusted...
then...story is short but not at all meaningfull
I,being angry,wasted 250 bucks in auto ride covering almost all the places I knew thrice,nick kept his cell switched off and if on then also he didnt attended my calls(I called aroung 68times and txted aroung 40's),pogo was busy with his mom...
Evening passed in french loaf with nitish(bunked gym)...tried hard to make him feel better but it worsened and he started weeping along with the sky blasting loudly,called up pogo to come up,he told he would be coming but slept off(I hate him)...It was becoming hard for me to control a guy crying,anyhow we left soon.He gave me lift in his car though my hostel was in walking distance(I couldn't say no seeing his condition).
I asked him to call up at night but he txted but I was totally drained out so slept off as soon as sit in my bed.
Late night I got up and checked his txts...he drank 2 bottles and puked as well...reason was silly but still he is my friend and I felt sorry because I couldn't help him...
When i was making up to call it 'a day of utter disgust"...I got a txt from pogo.."wait dumbo!!...I am coming in 10 minutes to that cafe,wait for me..."
It was 3am!
I replied "thanx for coming and handling the situation so well..now must be tired,sleep off"
And may be after many days i laughed so much...may be the ghosts went alive...lol!!
P.S-a day of utter disgust:P

Is it really necessary to get someone before forgetting someone??

few more days...

Few days left to leave my city and today suddenly i felt the urge to meet,to chat,to see all of you....
It wasnt that i was busy,It wasnt that i never thought but its today only
yesterday I took my cousin sister to her new school....which was more or less 1 year of me being out of school....
It seems so different to enter and feel once over again the same old excitements,the rush,the tensions and those pretty faces in their school uniform...
days never come back but memories do....

I thought I'll not....
I thought I can..
I thought I'll be...
I thought and thought and thought only....
but..
I couldn't...
I couldn't forget the shimmering shadow of lights seen together...
I couldn't forget the 'phuchka' after whole day shiv-ratri fast...
I couldn't forget the 'wish' to die and not to live with me...
I couldn't forget and truly can't....
I can't forget him...

PS-I love him

I have lost the gold wrapped box full of love and kisses forever....

today is not the day....

"Prerana he doesn't care for you,right??If he isn't thinking of you,why can't you move on??"
*MOVE ON*...is it really too easy to perform?
Can human mind really delete a portion from its life?
Or just your course(BCA) makes you compare human with computer where your life starts from 'delete' and end in 'recycle bin'?
sigh..............!!

He lost me so I found myself....

wannabe...???

We always find something or other to engage our life...does it really help in forgetting our sorrows??or its just the temporary butter for the permanent burnt??
Thanx to lee.....I atlast got the way to smile by myself and to feel nice and occupied with someone other than him and also got used to use an adult toothbrush...:):):)
love ya lee..

Where is the real me???

Am I the little girl who used to hold her ma's neck and used to say "ma go ma jogojani ma"?
Am I the girl who used to eat "chachimuchi" from her baba's plate??
Am I my dadu's "ditiyo-pokkho" whom he used to give divorce or "talak talak talak" every now and then and the little I used to cry like hell till her dadu took her in so called "chang-dola" style ?
Am I my dida's "dida" who snatches "pan" from her mouth and steal "chawan bahar"??
.................
Or am I the 18 yrs old girl who is deeply in love with someone who is everything for her?
........................................
What is the real me???

Naina lageeyan baarishan
Te sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye
Naina lageeyan baarishan
Rove palkan de kone vich neendh meri
Naina laggeyan baarishan
Hanju digde ne chot lage dil te
Naina laggeyan baarishan
Rut birha de badlan di chaa gayi

Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
Khoya khoya inn raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi
Har pal har lamha
Main kaise sehta hoon
Har pal har lamha
Main khudh se yeh kehta rehta hoon
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya oh
Mujhe rula diya

Teri yaadon mein likhe jo lafz dete hai sunayi
Beetay lamhe poochte hai kyun hue aise judaa
Khuda, khuda mila jo yeh faasla hai
Khuda tera hi yeh faisla hai
Khuda hona tha woh ho gaya
Jo tune tha likha

Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
Khoya khoya inn raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi
Har pal har lamha
Main kaise sehta hoon
Har pal har lamha
Main khudh se yeh kehta rehta hoon
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya oh
Mujhe rula diya

Naina lageeyan baarishan
Te sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye
Naina lageeyan baarishan
Rut birha de badlan di cha gayi

Do pal tujhse juda tha
Aise phir rasta muda tha
Tujhse mein khone laga
Juda jaise hone laga
Mujhse kuch mera

Tu hi meri liye ab kar dua
Tu hi iss dard se kar de juda
Tera hoke tera jo main na raha
Main yeh khud se kehta hoon

Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya oh
Mujhe rula diya


Tu nahin toh, inn labon pe ik shikaayat reh gayi hai
Door hi jab karna tha toh paas kyun laaya batah
Khuda kabhi tujhe bhi toh pyaar hoga
Khuda judaa tera yaar hoga
Khuda jaanega tu faaslon ka hai yeh dard kya
..............................................
i just simply love this song don't know why.....sigh!!

failed to understand..."what is love??