what if..??

I am the only child of my family,so from da beginning i was been pampered a lot so whenever my grandparents used to tell me of bringing up a brother or sister of mine,i used to get pissed off n say"ami pukure fele debo" or"ami bari chere chole jabo"......

it was when i was hardly three or four yrs old...

this may be called jealousy but it was rather a feeling of insecurity.I felt insecure that my folks would luv the newborn more than me n my part of luv would lessen.when my folks decided to brought up a child from bhuj(after the severe earthquake in gujrat),i warned them that i'll kill dat kid.Even i told my uncle(babu) not to marry since aftr he had his child,his love for me would be reduced,which i could hardly think off then...this type of self-centeredness should have been stopped before it branched up to a tree....but neither my parents nor my grandparents took any initiative and for which i'm suffering nw...


I'm suffering from lonliness.I am suffering every moment n repent of my childly foolishness.I longed to have a brother or sister of mine...now i just want nothing but a brother or sister who will care for me,who will b dere vth me in my solitude......

In The Depth of Solitude

I exist in depth of solitude

pondering my true goal

trying to find peace of mind

and still preserve my soul.